Let’s all work on my online profile.
Fun-loving, cynical, elitist DWF seeks adoring, nice, loyal man to deliver black coffee in bed while she reads. Must be employed, successful, kind, and generous. Must love children and dogs and spending major holidays in Mississippi. Enthusiasm a plus, sense of humor a must. High tolerance for busy-ness and chaos a bonus! Age not important, but maturity is required. Please make references, blood test, HIPAA waiver and financial statement available for inspection prior to first meeting.
Do you think I will get any hits? What should I wear in the photo?
Brightenthecorner 
If you wear just an Ole Miss football jersey (3 sizes too small), heels, and mascara, I really don’t think the words will matter all that much.
Would you make me some cute shorts with a ruffle to go with said jersey?
not sure about the outfit, but the profile criteria are about right…
Maybe I could use Mom’s picture instead of my own. I would probably get more offers that way.
Perfect, submit it!!