swagger wagon

16 Apr

There’s good news and bad news today.  The good news is that my former spouse called Honda and authorized them to talk to me.  This was after I had nearly come to tears with the rep saying “look, I am trying to give y’all some MONEY.” and she said “all you need to do is have him call us and authorize us to talk to you.  We have tried to call him on two numbers but we can’t leave a message.  Can you call him and ask him to call us?” and I said “Don’t you think that if we were so willing to do common-sense, decent, basic kindnesses for each other that we might still be MARRIED and I wouldn’t be having these conversations with you, Allison-of-Honda?”

And Allison-of-Honda, regretting the day she ever picked up that line, said “I understand what you’re saying.  Good luck.”  And I said “I know that this isn’t your problem, but why should I have to involve him just so  that I can consider buying the car that already lives at my house, that I maintain, and that I pay for?  It doesn’t make any sense, especially in light of the fact that I know you SELL our financial information to other companies all the time.”

But then, you know what?  He called Honda and then we worked out a switch in custodial weekends, all by email, and everybody is happy.

Everybody but me.  You know why?  Well that, my friends, is the afore-referenced bad news.

To purchase the Honda is so darn reasonable money-wise that only a fool would pursue a cooler option.  The Odyssey is loaded: rearview camera, navigation system (vital for someone as directionally challenged as I am), DVD and gaming system whose capabilities far exceed our knowledge of how to use them, leather seats, 6 CD changer, heated seats!!!, comfortable for taking all your children and all your friends anywhere, anytime.  Unfortunately, it’s a no-brainer.  I have to re-up the minivan.

And there go all my fantasies of being anything but a strung-out, frazzled mother of three.  At least as far as cars go.  My image?  Well, maybe I can work that out in some other ways.  With shoes perhaps and by working on my hair.  Like Sonya said “If you want us to line up some dates for you, you are going to have to do your part.”


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