graphoria

16 Mar

Do you remember when I said that I was going straight and that I would write a few artcles for a magazine?  I submitted two stories yesterday.  It was a different kind of writing than btc, because I actually had to ensure that the content was something people other than friends might want to read.  I interviewed several people for the stories and I then compiled the information into something that I hope will be interesting.  In one piece, I had no knowledge of the subject and started from scratch with the information he gave me.  For the second article, I drew siginificantly on my experience with the event and was able to just supplement my own knowledge with observations from a few sources.  I hope they turn out well.

Brightenthecorner has really brought out a side of me that I didn’t know I had.  I knew that I see the world differently from many people.  I am well-aware that my sense of humor is what some would call offbeat.  I have been told that I write good letters.  I also know that I can’t seem to suppress it.  I knew that I had a lot I wanted to say and no ready audience.  I knew that my life had taken turns very different from what I thought it would, and that I needed to make sense of it somehow.  I knew that I needed to write it out.  I knew that I had a broad vocabulary, a knack for describing things, and knew how to form a paragraph.  I had written many a paper in college and many an examination essay in law school, so organizing my thoughts in writing was something I had some experience in.

Once I began writing about my home, my children, my frustrations and adventures, I have realized that I can hardly stand not to do it.  Writing to you all gives me a reason to look for meaning and order in the world.  It is though I have been changing into a writer.  I chronicle the changes I experience and then the act of writing changes me even more.  I don’t know what that’s all about. 

I am convinced that I will run out of subject matter.  How much can you stand to hear about how overwhelmed I am; how busy; how lonely; how full my life is; how empty it is; how hard and also how simple it feels.  How my children make me laugh and then cause me to cry?  How they are growing up too slowly and too quickly all at the same time?  How divorce is both the worst thing I have ever experienced and the best thing that’s ever happened to me?  How are all these paradoxes possible?

I know that writing has caused me to pay a lot more attention to the little conversations happening all around me.  Almost everything I hear now reminds of something I need to tell you.  Something that I had forgotten or just realized.  I know that I will always have to have a day job.  One that pays me for showing up, because I can’t support my family with my writing.  It’s just for fun.  But it has been really eye-opening this week to have writing assignments and feel like I have completed them doing something that is fun and relatively easy for me.

Thanks to you, who read this and comment on it, I feel like maybe I have something useful to contribute after all, and I seem to be turning into someone smarter, cleverer and maybe even wiser than I was before.

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2 Responses to “graphoria”

  1. MCM March 17, 2011 at 2:43 am #

    Claire,
    You’re never going to run out of things to write about. There’s more than you’ll ever get around to saying, thank goodness. Best of luck with your magazine submissions…..you just never know, and it’s their loss if they don’t take them. Hang in there and keep it coming.
    MC

  2. brightenthecorner March 17, 2011 at 3:03 am #

    thanks Mary Carol. The magazine is just a new, local publication that will be mostly ads, but it is pretty and glossy. All three articles put together (which they will pay for regardless of publishing) will buy me one pair of really cute shoes (or in your case several items from LL Bean), but that’s okay. I’m not in it for the money – just the thrill of the deadline.

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